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The Rundown
Dude of the Week: Erling Haaland
The newest fascination among non-traditional soccer fans is Erling Haaland. It is like seeing a Nordic Viking run around on the pitch every game. Straight out of the history books, Haaland is a beast. Right now, he is second in the race to win the Golden Boot, trailing only the GOAT, Lionel Messi.
Haaland has scored 7 goals in this World Cup tournament, leading Norway to the quarterfinals, where they will play England. His play has not only been great, but his off-the-field activities have been awesome as well. He was able to spend some time in Texas and picked up a cowboy hat and boots. In my opinion, he has become a favorite among American fans. I think Americans appreciate an international superstar who comes over and enjoys the little things our country has to offer.
With America out, I know now that I will be rooting for Norway. Congratulations to this week’s Dude of the Week, Erling Haaland.
Soccer Just Might Not Be Our Sport
Just when all of America thought we may make some unbelievable and historic run at the world cup, we got kicked in the fucking nuts.
Before we get into it, I will say, the boys fought hard all tournament up until Monday night. They made us proud and 100% united our country.
That said, Monday night vs. Belgium was one of the most pathetic sports performances ive ever seen in my life (and I’m a fucking Browns fan). Christian Pulisic must have never watched Miracle because a bruise on the leg is a hell of a long way from the heart, CANDYASS!!!
To be fair to him, he was not the only one to blame. We looked unprepared, nervous, and ultimately gave up at the end. Looks like soccer still needs some work in the states.
Alright enough with the negativity, 1,461 days till we get to get our hopes up again 🇺🇸⚽🤝
- Chuck
Missing Englishman Found in Spanish Pub
Out of all the World Cup stories, this may be the best one yet. On June 20th, Michael Hewitt flew into Spain for a layover before he was ultimately supposed to fly to Boston for the World Cup. When he got to his layover, he realized he had lost his phone.
Now, most people would call someone they know or go look for help. Not Michael Hewitt. The die-hard Leeds fan, who is also known as “Little Mick” (awesome nickname), made the executive decision to not ask for help or go to the British Embassy. The main reason he did not ask for help is because he did not know literally anybody’s phone number—like, no one he has ever talked to in his life’s phone number.
So Little Mick just decided to make the best of his trip and left the airport to go watch some soccer at the pub. Michael spent 10 days just chilling in Barcelona, going to various pubs and watching World Cup games. Meanwhile, his family was in panic mode, as they should be—LITTLE MICK is missing. Ultimately, Interpol was brought in on the search to find the missing legend. Interpol was able to track Michael’s credit card back to his hotel reservation. Michael was informed of the panic his family was in and was reunited with them.
Now, here is the best part of the story. The whole time, Michael had his passport and money, so he very well could have continued his travel to Boston. So Michael saw some controversy and just decided to go have a good time instead of worrying. Just an all-time World Cup story from the legendary Little Mick.
- Carter
McGregor Returns
These two are washed as shit, but Conor McGregor is still the greatest entertainer this sport has ever seen. Love him or hate him, whenever he steps into the spotlight, you know you're getting a show. There are very few athletes who can command the world's attention quite like McGregor.
As of now, McGregor sits around a +180 underdog. If there's one thing we've learned over the years, it's that counting him out has never been a comfortable position to be in.
- Jack
Hole 9 High Speed Chase
When I saw this video, I could hardly believe my eyes.
This high speed chase across a golf course took place at Fox Den golf course in Stow, Ohio – THE COURSE I GREW UP PLAYING. Absolutely absurd!!!
Just out of frame is hole 17 where our very own, Carter Troyer, hit a hole-in-one (was by himself though so it doesn’t actually count, he’s 100% lying)
The best part of this video has to be the guys in the cart. While the mini van and cruisers come flying through at probably 30 or 40 mph, the brave fellas in the golf cart joined in the pursuit in their fucking golf cart. Did they have the speed? Not even close. Did they show loads of bravery? You bet your ass.
Good work boys 🤝
- Chuck
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