This week’s Dude of the Week is the most handsome man in China. Of course I am talking about Haotong Li, the legend and most entertaining man at Augusta last week. Li had one of the craziest four days of golf I personally have ever seen. Starting the week on Thursday, Li fired a 71 (-1). He then proceeded to shoot 69 (-3) the next two days.

This left Li sitting in the top ten going into Sunday’s round. According to the man himself though, something went very wrong. Li basically told us he ate something bad on Saturday night and was on the toilet all night and all morning the next day. Unfortunately for Li, this did not end well when he stepped onto the course. Haotong was actually only one over after finishing the front nine, so he was not really in the tournament anymore, but at least he was looking at a nice paycheck if he could keep it together.

Well, Li did in fact NOT keep it together. He ended up going from a triple bogey to a quad bogey in back to back holes. Although it sucks that he was now out of the tournament, it definitely gave us some great content. Li somehow ended up as far left on the 13th hole as I have ever seen someone. He was so far left that when the camera was on him ready to hit his shot, you could not even see him behind a massive bush. It does suck that Li lost out on a good amount of money, but he did gain a lot of new fans. The engraving on his wedge also went viral, which read, “Haotong is the most handsome man in China” lollllll. Li is just honestly a hilarious dude and his game is pretty fun to watch. He went from striping it, to shanking the ball into the water, to putting the ball off the green and into the water. You just had no idea what he was going to do on Sunday.

Li’s Rounds:
R1: 71 (-1)
R2: 69 (-3)
R3: 69 (-3)
R4: 80 (+8)

Just a true up and down week for the most handsome man in China.

- Carter

There are certain moments in life that feel like they should be passed down from generation to generation. Cultural cornerstones. Shared experiences that bind us as a society. The Miracle on Ice. Jackie Robinson’s debut. The Patriots’ 28–3 comeback in the Super Bowl… and, of course, 2 Girls 1 Cup.

This week, I made a 2 Girls 1 Cup joke on Daydrink Radio. Monstah appreciated it like a true scholar of the arts, but Chuck? Nothing. No laugh. No reaction. Just silence. The kind of silence that makes you question everything you thought you knew about the world.

Naturally, I assumed it was a technical issue. Maybe he didn’t hear me. Maybe there was a delay. Maybe the universe briefly paused. So I sent him the clip to make sure he caught it.

He had no idea what I was talking about.

None.

At that moment, it became painfully clear: we are losing the culture. The new generation will never understand the significance of keeping the legend of 2 Girls 1 Cup alive. One day, historians will look back and ask, “Where did it all go wrong?” and unfortunately, the answer will be: Chuck.

Usually, my blogs come with a link attached to the article… but I think we’ve already lost enough innocence for one day.

- Gerard

The last two years the Masters has delivered on Sunday. Last year we had a very close leaderboard leading to a playoff between Rose and Rory. This year we also had a full leaderboard with guys like Tyrrell Hatton, Cam Young, and Justin Rose coming close to beating Rory. At the end of the day Rory walks away with his second green jacket in a row. It is so funny how Rory could not win at Augusta for the longest time and then decided to go back to back. I think almost everyone watching was pulling for anyone but Rory, but we have to give credit to Rory.

Closing out back to back Masters is obviously extremely impressive. There were definitely times during the round on Sunday when all of us thought Rory could not hold off Cam Young or Justin Rose. Both guys ended up struggling under the pressure and could not get the job done. At the end of the day Rory will go down as one of the best golfers of all time. He is one of six golfers to ever complete the career Grand Slam.

Also I will be addressing my gambling picks. I would say four out of five on the last five Masters is not only insane, but may be the best in the game. I have no regrets about my choices and will make sure to win next year. I do not have to justify myself and I will not.

- Carter

This past week, Alex Cooper released a video calling on Alix Earle to publicly address whatever issue has led to the apparent tension between the two. Cooper essentially asked Earle to clarify what she may have done wrong, as the situation has played out through subtle, passive-aggressive signals rather than anything direct.

Earle responded in the comments with a simple but loaded: “Okay on it!!” — a message that immediately sent the internet into a frenzy. Now, everyone is waiting on the response she promised.

In the meantime, things have only gotten messier. Brianna Chickenfry jumped into the mix alongside Dave Portnoy, claiming that Earle is going to “destroy” Cooper. She also took a shot at Cooper, labeling her a “mean girl,” which has only added more fuel to the fire.

So while the public waits for Earle to deliver, the sideshows have already started — and the back-and-forth is escalating quickly.

Earle better have some juicy shit because America has been on hold for days now

- Jack

Controversial “looksmaxxing” influencer Clavicular had a suspected overdose Tuesday night and was hospitalized.

The worst part of it all you may ask?

His face descending from the life support mask, he claimed.

Everyone pray for Clav

- Jack

This is something I’ve really been wondering lately — is there actually an argument that the NBA playoffs are better than the NHL? Personally speaking, absolutely not.

That said, as a non-NBA fan, last year’s NBA playoffs — and especially the Finals — were nothing short of spectacular. Some insane shots, bodies hitting the floor, and guys who actually looked like they gave a fuck.

BUT, at the end of the day, nothing will ever compare to the NHL playoffs. These guys will quite literally do whatever it takes to win, and it is the most entertaining thing on earth.

I’ve always thought it was funny how Round 1 is a total bloodbath. Emotions run high, and these guys don’t shy away from it. Expect fights, extracurriculars, and the best part — the refs keep their whistles in their pockets and let the boys play. As someone who is usually a big advocate for protecting players, when playoff time comes around, I advocate for anything goes.

For you non-hockey fans, there are two big series to watch out for in Round 1, in my opinion:

#1. Buffalo vs. Boston — This is the first playoff game in Buffalo since the 2010–2011 season, and the building quite literally might erupt. Buffalo fans are nuts in the first place, and then you starve them for 15 years? This is going to be crazy.

#2. Pittsburgh vs. Philly — Will either of these teams make a Cup run? Most likely not. That said, the Battle of Pennsylvania runs deep. These guys might kill each other out there. Take a look at 2012:

Because it’s the cup.

- Chuck

- Jack

Robot chases wild boars. The future is now

Market Recap

Mixed performance week. Revenue remained solid and TikTok showed strength, but Instagram distribution slowed and no major breakout content emerged. Despite softer media momentum, the brand secured key partnership funding and continues focussing on building its product pipeline.

Analyst Outlook

Neutral → Bullish.
Short-term growth depends on reaccelerating content performance. However, with a funded Kentucky Derby activation, new merchandise in development, and upcoming events, DDNK has clear catalysts ahead.